I know. I know.
I was just a mere 2 weeks away from finishing this program. Why quit? Why not push through and just finish? Trust me. I asked myself that a million times before I decided to call it a day.
Body Beast has taken me a long time. Like a really, really, long ass time. It’s a 12 week program and I am at like 4.5 months. Due to a couple of adrenal crashes, my kid being sick on and off for 6 weeks and staying home with me (which meant never getting work done), I had to take a couple of week-long (and one 2 week long) breaks. During my crashes I am glad that I paused the program but I regret not pushing through when my daughter was home. I had the energy to do it, I hadn’t crashed yet (although I might have crashed sooner if I had pushed through) but I was just so tired and stressed out, so I didn’t. I am not proud of it and I definitely learned a lot about how I handle stressful situations (not well)
So there I was, 2 weeks away from the finish line and I found myself crashing again. Let me show you what an adrenal crash is like. According to Dr. Michael Lam, M.D. this is the anatomy of an adrenal crash;
The most basic physiological state is prolonged bed rest. We call it hibernation in the animal kingdom. When an animal hibernates, it expends a minimal amount of energy. It comes as no surprise that those with adrenal crashes or in advance stages are often bed-ridden.
No organ is spared as the body down-regulates during a crash or as Adrenal Fatigue worsens and the body returns to a simple state. Multiple organ systems are involved. The first systems to turn off are those not required for basic survival. Reproduction is considered a luxury and not a vital function when survival is at stake. Libido as a result is lowered. The thyroid also goes into a slow down mode as the body attempts to reduce the basal metabolic rate (idle speed) to conserve energy. This naturally leads to sluggishness, constipation, and worsening fatigue.
Sounds like a walk in the park, doesn’t it? The last 2 weeks were rough. I was exhausted. I slept in all the time. Working out seemed daunting, because it was. The last couple of times that I forced a workout, I felt like I was just starting the program again. My form went out. I almost injured myself a couple of times due to bad form. And I did not leave feeling better. I literally regretted my workout. I was the person that proved the meme wrong.
So, not to brag, but I am like, really good, at listening to my body (as I brush my shoulders off). I am in tune with that shit. I know when things are hinky and know when they are right. The last 2 weeks that I was doing the program, when I stepped into my office, where I workout, the image of a stop sign literally flashed in my head. No, I don’t need to see a psychiatrist (for that anyways…). But my body was trying to tell me, no, this is not the right thing. And, like I said, the couple of times that I ignored it, I regretted it.
But I second-guessed myself and told myself that I was just being lazy and needed to toughen up. I told myself that I was only 2 weeks away from finishing (actually less because I started and stopped so many times). I beat myself up for not pushing through. After all, I am the coach! I need to be the one showing others how to do it.
Trust me. I felt all the emotions. Embarrassment, shame, remorse, regret, exhaustion. I had it all. Lucky me.
But after an amazing live conversation with my Accountability Squad and my own coach, where I laid it all out and just asked their advice, they pushed me to acknowledge what I already knew; it was time to throw in the towel on Body Beast.
Don’t get me wrong. I am PROUD of my journey with Body Beast. I learned a lot and fell in love with lifting. I will 100% be back at it again and maybe even do a PiYo/Body Beast hybrid.
The day I called it on Body Beast, I did a PiYo workout because my body was literally begging for it and my coach challenged me to give it a shot. So, a little reluctantly, I did.
I almost cried at the end. It was what my body needed. I felt so much better and the next morning, I woke up at 6:30AM ready to take on the day (even though I didn’t get out of bed until 7 😉
I hadn’t felt that way since early March. I knew then that the decision that I made was the right one. It was like the stars aligned and the universe was telling me to go for it. So I am. I am going to do PiYo for awhile. Then I will probably do the 21 Day Fix but we will see what my body says when we get there. Now I know to listen.
And as for Body Beast, don’t worry, I will still send in my results and get the free T-shirt! In my mind I completed this program. It may always have an asterisk next to it but I did complete it. And though my journey is never going to be perfect, I am proud of it nonetheless.
One of the main things that I have regretted throughout this process, though is losing my routine. I was doing so well for awhile, waking up early at 6AM and getting my workout in first thing. It set the tone for the day and helped me make better choices throughout the day. So, starting June 6th, I will be hosting a 5 Day Breakfast Club Challenge. It will be aimed at waking up early, getting a workout in first thing, and making healthy food choices for the day. If you are ready to make mornings your bitch, comment below, message me or send me an email to join.